Can you ever get rid of imposter syndrome?

Outfit:
Yellow polka dot dress: Zara
Black faux leather jacket: New Look (similar)
White plimsols: Converse

I've been working at my current job for over three years now and yet I'm still waiting for the day to be pulled into a separate office and be told that they've made a terrible mistake employing me. And it's not just me that has these irrational thoughts. Nearly all my friends agree with me. Despite being well established in our careers, we still have a massive fear that someone will find out that we've been winging it all this time and we're not qualified at all. It's all complete rubbish of course, as if we honestly couldn't do our jobs then we would be long gone and replaced with someone who could.

Imposter syndrome is very real and it can be very difficult to get the invasive thoughts out of your head. If you let it, it will continue to fester. I've had it ever since I've started Uni if I'm honest and I'm not sure it'll ever go away. But you can learn to bat it away.

Remember it's natural to do things wrong at work. The only way we learn is if we make mistakes. Use those mistakes to try and make yourself better, learn from them, adjust the way you work and then lock the thought of them away. Talking things through with friends always helps. As I've found, they often feel the same themselves and friends make a great sounding board. They'll often tell you what a Queen you are and trust me, that's a surefire way to make you realised that actually you do know what you're doing after all. Finally, sit down and think. Think about everything you've achieved at work. Did you manage to pull off a successful project? Did you kill a presentation when you were nervous as hell? Did you do a piece of work and get praised for it? The chances are you've definitely pulled something off that you were worried about. And if that doesn't prove you don't deserve your position in the company, then what will?

How do you deal with imposter syndrome? Tell me I'm not alone in having these thoughts!

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What I've been cooking #7: Fresh India by Meera Sodha

I don't know how I found out about Fresh India but I'm pretty sure I found out about it from the vegetarian cookbook queen Charlotte. She loves a cookbook like me and always cooks such delicious looking meals. It's not a secret that I own a LOT of pictures but this one is in my top three. I absolutely adore it! Fresh India is probably the best Indian cookbook I've ever used and I love reading Meera's anecdotes with each recipe. It's so lovely to hear the inspiration behind everything and learn all about her family. I've adored every single recipe I've tried and know it's going to be a staple in my kitchen for many years to come. I haven't had any trouble finding any of her ingredients in the supermarket which is a plus. Here's what I have cooked so far!

P.S I can't wait to be able to start taking pictures in natural light again - these hurt my poor eyes!

Chana Saag (pictured below with the samosas)
Hands down my absolute favourite dish. I very rarely cook the same thing twice but we have this at least twice a month. It's so simple to make and tastes banging, even better the next day. It's one of those dishes that can be made entire from store cupboard essentials if you keep frozen spinach in the freezer. We like to serve it with naan breads.

Leek, pea and mint samosas
I hosted a curry night last year and decided to take on far too much as usual. One of my dishes was these samosas. I didn't cook them for long enough but the curries were ready and I didn't want them to get cold. Next time I'll be more organised. These were a bit fiddly but well worth the effort. The filling was great and tasted really fresh thanks to the mint. I'd definitely bake these again if I was doing a special dinner. They're a bit too much of a faff to do midweek for me!

Savoy cabbage, black kale and potato subji
I cooked this up one Sunday to have as lunches throughout the week. It's a great dish to have as lunches as it's really tasty to be eaten cold if you don't have a microwave. I struggled to find black kale in Aldi so just made do with normal kale. Another one that I will most definitely make again.

Aubergine and pea curry
Nearly everyone I've talked to regarding this book has recommended that I needed to cook this recipe asap. So I cooked it up for my lunches and realised just why everyone has recommended it! I love aubergine in a curry anyway so this was always going to be a winner for me. It tasted a bit like it should be used as a samosa filling - which isn't a bad thing! There's a ongoing theme going on in this book as this is yet another one I'll definitely make again.

Bengali coconut dal
This was the first ever Dal I made and I never knew it was so easy! I really enjoyed it and it made great leftovers. Something I always look for in recipes! Next time I would mash up the lentils so it isn't as chunky. Personally I prefer my days to be a bit more smooth.

Pistachio and almond cake with saffron icing
I made a mistake and poured water into the icing so it went extremely runny but it was nothing a few hours in the fridge couldn't sort out. I really loved the subtle flavours in this and it made a nice change for the standard drizzles I keep baking. It was really simple to make which makes it perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon of baking.

Bengali-in-the-cupboard egg curry
The texture was a little weird for me at first but I soon got over that and now have been converted to egg curry. I love recipes that are made up of store cupboard essentials and this one fitted the bill perfectly. I cooked the sauce one Sunday night and kept it in the fridge. It was so easy to heat up in a pan while I boiled a few eggs during the week. I love a midweek dinner that takes less than 10 minutes to throw together!

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The power of an accent

Outfit:
Faux leather jacket with fur collar: New Look (similar)
Polka dot midi dress: Zara (similar)
Black leather ankle boots: ASOS (similar)
Teal mini rucksack: Mulberry (similar)

I read something - don't ask me where as I never remember - that in the UK you can tell a lot about someone by the way they speak. You can tell their education, upbringing, region and class. You can pinpoint what region they're from just by the way they pronounce their words. How you're judged by peers can depend on your accent. This particular article by Faiza Shaheen after TV presenter Adam Boulton mocked her east London twang struck a cord with me. How dare he mock her for the way she speaks?

I was born and bred in Essex  - and I sound like it. When I'm around family and friends, I get lazy and drop my Ts, use shortened words and slang that sometimes doesn't sound like it comes from the English Language. When I meet someone new, I start talking like someone I don't even recognise. I pronounce my words more clearly and speak 'proper' because god forbid someone tells me that I sound like I'm from Essex. I have a completely different accent at work then I do at home. My dad once phoned me up at work and asked me 'why was I speaking like that? It didn't even sound like me...'

But why is this? I'm not ashamed of where I come from, I'm fiercely proud my working class roots and being an Essex girl. My parents have grafted over the years and taught me to never be afraid of a bit of hard work in order to achieve what you want. But yet I change my accent depending on who I am with. I hate the thought that someone will automatically judge the type of person I am. I've heard the sneers and jokes when I mention where I'm from more times than I can count. It's got to the point of almost reversed snobbery as when I'm introduced to someone with a cut glass accent, I sound almost like a parody of myself, almost daring them to judge me. We can have all the intelligence in the world and the best education yet we will always be judged on our accents.

It's odd isn't it? The power of an accent? We are all quite attached to how we speak, believing it to help keep a tie to where we're from. When I'm abroad my accent is even stronger as if I'm self-consciously trying to hang onto my Essex roots despite the fact I'm thousands of miles away from home. Shouldn't we be proud of the multiple regional accents we have all over the U.K? An accent should be a celebration of our roots, not used as a weapon to make us feel small and unworthy.

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