Living with a boy: (almost) six months on

Outfit:

White longline shirt: H&M (similar)
Pink blazer: ASOS (similar)
Blue denim skinny jeans: George at ASDA (similar)
Silver pointed loafers: Next (similar)

It's been nearly six months since I took the plunge and moved out of my parents home and into a house with my boyfriend. Honestly? I was dreading it a bit and I wasn't quite ready to leave home. I wasn't ready to take on the responsibly and cried in the first few weeks every time I went back to my parents.

Living with someone else is hard. We've bickered about who cleans the bathroom, gone to bed angry after falling out over a stain on the sofa and got far too angry with each other over how we both choose to stack the dishwasher. We have credit card debt more than out house deposit thanks to buying a doer-upper and money has been the tightest it has ever been. Our bathroom currently looks like squatters have been residing in it for months and we have a massive hole in the plaster by the front door. Looking back I think we bought a house together with rose-tinted glasses on and didn't quite realise just how bloody difficult it would be.

Despite having been going out with each other for a decade, we learnt so much more about each other during these last six months then we have in ten years. He annoys me when he puts the glasses in the cupboard and doesn't shut the door. His laid back nature now frustrates me when he doesn't spend the whole weekend doing jobs around the house and instead chooses to 'chill out'. I've been asking to have my fireplace tiled since January... Sometimes when I'm in bed and hear him playing Call of Duty downstairs, I want to march downstairs and throw things at him. I hear that theme tune in my head.

Equally I annoy him when I take to the kitchen and use every single pan in the house. When he braves it and wanders in, he's greeted with flour on the cabinets, oil all over the cooker and chocolate on the tiles. I think he's struggling to cope with my floordrobe all over my side of the bed. In fact I know he's struggling with all my messy ways. I seem to be allergic to putting things away until it becomes an absolute joke.

Yet despite all that, its been the best decision I've ever made. I've stopped calling my parents house 'home' and when I visit over the weekend, after a few hours I'm itching to come back to my house. My own home where I can get my PJs on, leave my shoes on the stairs without being told off and raid the fridge to eat whatever I want without permission.  It's funny how sometimes I can barely remember life without living with Connor. It feels like we've always co-exisiting together in this little house. As I sit on the tube on my commute home, I feel excited when I'm two stops from home as I know I'm going to see my very own house. I relish sitting down for dinner, chatting for a while about our day and then going about our business - him on his xbox and me on my laptop. I feel so content and happy knowing he is there in the house even if we sit in different rooms or barely talk for hours.

Turns out living with a boy is pretty good indeed.

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Things to do in NYC: Hop on, hop off ferry cruise

As much as I love exploring places 'off the beaten track' when I visit places, I'm also a sucker for all the traditional tourist fun. So I was very excited to do the Hop on, Hop Off cruise pass with Isango*. We did have a combo ticket with entrance to the observation deck at the One World Trade Centre but there was some confusion at the pier ticket office. I asked to redeem my ticket and they said I didn't need to but yet when I went to the observation deck, they told me I wasn't allowed on as it had to be redeemed back at the pier. Sadly we had a dinner reservation so we didn't have time to go back to redeem the ticket. It's something to keep in mind if you take the tour, be persistent that you definitely need to redeem all tickets at the pier. But all confusion aside, my mum and I had a great afternoon on the ferry.

Valid for 24 hours, we picked it up from Pier 79 on West 44th Street in Midtown for our 90 minute New York City Sightseeing Tour: Hop-on, Hop-off bus tour with cruise and one world observatory admission. We didn't have time to do one of the New York Bus Tours. The tour guide was brilliant and very informative. Originally hailing from Queens, his knowledge of the city was second to none and we both found out some cool new facts. As we cruised along the water, we got to see the Statue of Liberty, Empire State building, Ellis Island, Brooklyn Bridge and an incredible view of the skyline. We took the full 90 minute round trip tour without hopping off first and then we stayed on it until it arrived at Pier 11 in the financial district. Make sure you let the desk know if you plan on hopping on and off as they do something special to you ticket to allow you too.

If it's your first time to NYC then I would definitely recommend the tour as you get to see so much in a short amount of time. Perfect if you only have a long weekend in the city. Even though I had seen most of the sights before, it was still interesting as I found out new things. Thanks for having us on the trip Isango!

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When your friends have babies - and you don't want one

Outfit:

Burgundy polka dot shirt: ASOS

Distressed skinny jeans: George at ASDA (similar)

White plimsol trainers: Converse
Red leather backpack: Michael Kors (similar)

When one of my closest friends announced she was pregnant I cried. Part of me cried because I was in shock and about five gins down, another part she looked so excited at her news and the final part cried because I was upset that the dynamics in our 13 year friendship was about to change and I wasn't ready for that happen. Selfish eh? I honestly though I had at least another five years before any babies made an appearance.

It's no surprise that I'm not a very maternal person. I can't pretend I am and I'm so awkward when I'm around babies. I'm just not interested in having any of my own at this moment in time. I'm not sure if I will ever be interested in having my own.

As my friend's pregnancy went on it slightly freaked me out. She was the first one and I was beyond happy for her because you know she was going to be a mum. But all I kept thinking about was how there was just going to be a baby. Just there. For the rest of time. Things would never be as carefree again. Are you getting the picture that I'm not that keen on change? There when we had our summer BBQs, there when we met up for brunch and there when we all got together around each other's houses. Then as her due date drew closer, I found myself on the edge of my seat every time my phone pinged. When baby 'I' finally arrived, I thought she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Even now six months down the line, I find myself in Primark picking up things that I think she'll look cute in. I've surprised myself with just how much I'm taken with her and really didn't expect to be this involved. Sorry 'S'! We have a group Whatapp group and I get weekly pictures of what 'I' is doing and those messages make my day. I'm still fairly awkward around her and still find myself petrified that I'm going to drop her on her head six months down the line. But it feels like she's always been here.

Even though I love her, I don't want her to always be there. I can't tell you how selfish that makes me feel. Seeing her little face makes me smile but sometimes I just want things to go back to being how they were when we were sixteen and I relish spending time with her mum on her own, without any distractions. I didn't sign up for having a baby in my life all the time. If I did I'd have my own sprog at my side. I feel there is a time and a place and I want to spend time with my friends, with who they were BB (before baby). For me that's the mindset I'm in. My world at the minute isn't about nipple cream or breast pads. It's about going out on a Saturday night to try out the local gin bar that's just opened or booking a weekend away even though I really can't afford it.

If I don't ask about your baby or don't make a fuss, it's because for me babies just aren't my world. I don't think it's fair to force any baby on someone or make anyone feel guilty as people are at such different times in their lives. We all move at different paces. Myself? I'm moving at a snail pace when it comes to accepting I'm a fully fledged adult! It took me ten years to take the plunge to move in with my boyfriend... I can completely understand that they are your world - as they should be if you ever have a baby. It's not that I'm not interested, it's that I have other things on my mind that I'm dealing with. Other things that I want to do that at this moment in time are more important to me that babies. But I am so happy for my friends because they themselves are happy. That's all I want. I just want my friends to be happy in whatever they do. They're absolutely bossing it and it makes me proud that I know such kick-ass women.

The one main thing friends having babies has taught me though? My BFF definitely can't have a baby without me being pregnant at the same time because this needy girl will not one able to cope with the lack of attention if she has a baby and I don't!

How do you feel about your friends starting to have babies?

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