These last few weeks have been extremely tough. I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of my sails and if I'm honest, I'm struggling to get back on my feet. I feel emotionally drained and feeling like a bit of a failure. Last week I was made redundant from my job. The publication had given me the most surreal, hilarious, bizarre and incredible experiences over the last three years. Sometimes I have wanted to pull my hair out in rage but most of the time I have wanted to pinch myself thanks to all the amazing opportunities I was given. I feel so attached to the magazine with it being my first ever job in the crazy journalism world. It was the magazine that helped me achieve my dream.
But then the Tunisian tragedy happened. My parents were in the exact hotel just a week before. They laid on that beach soaking up the rays. I spoke to them via Skype in that lobby. I laughed with a member of staff who gatecrashed one of our Skype calls. My parents came home and raved about what a wonderful place Sousse was and how they had the most fantastic week. They couldn't praise the hotel staff enough. When the information started pouring in over social media, it really hit home just how devastating the situation is. I could have been scrambling to find a flight and heartbreakingly identifying my parents. I could be an orphan - it doesn't bare thinking about. What kind of world do we live in that people think behaviour like this is acceptable? How dare someone take someone's life in such a brutal way? The world is becoming such a a scary place. I can't even begin to imagine the horror those poor people felt when a man opened fired on the beach. Somewhere they were relaxing, forgetting their troubles and completely unaware.
I may have lost my job but I'm still standing. Losing my job isn't the end of the world. It may seem so at the time but something always happens to make you feel incredibly lucky. I'm still about to give my loved ones a hug before I go to bed. I'm still able to ring them up for a chat. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger - certain things are sent to try us. To test our strength. I'm hoping this redundancy means that something better is around the corner. I'm looking forward to finding out what other things I'm capable of. I feel like this could be the chance for me to have a new career. I'm going to dust myself off and become a warrior and not a worrier. Life's too short.
