So 2015 is done and dusted eh? It's been a funny old year. The first half was full steam ahead but then the second half? It's been trying. Bad news seems to be a reoccurring theme. But you know what's life without a few bumps in the road?
Friendships have fallen apart at the seams this year, leaving me still scratching my head at what happened in that department. I suppose some relationships are just not for the long haul. It has however made me so thankful for the people who have stuck around. Who are just as rubbish as me at keeping in touch and don't take offence when I disappear of the radar for a while. Which has been more times than I care to remember this year. Those who are always there when I do finally get my head in gear. Those who get in touch with me just as I'm feeling low and say the right words without even realising it.
I am currently unemployed and desperately trying to carve out a career in freelancing. Freelancing has been more difficult that I ever thought it would be. I ended this year on a high in my work life, having spent just under 6 weeks at a publication I've really enjoyed. Learning new skills and working in a great environment. I lost my job in July and it's been a whirlwind of emotions since. I've worked at a few publications but it's not been a steady flow and I've been down the job centre a few times with my tail between my legs signing on. I don't have anything set in stone for the new year which is slightly worrying but what will be, will be. I'll just be holding on as tight as I can to see where the job roller coaster takes me next year. The unknown can be exciting right?!
I've struggled a lot with self-confidence this year. Confidence in the career I've chosen, confidence in my looks and confidence at not sucking in life. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others and once you start, it can be a downhill spiral to a one-woman pity party. I hardly ever think I'm good enough and usually I can brush it off with a wise crack or a self-deprecating joke. But this year I've found myself wallowing more than usual. I've taken more than a few hits and struggled to get back on the horse.
But this year I have felt I've grown. I'm slowly getting better in believing in myself. I've grown in confidence in my ability to things done, grown in confidence in making the right decision for me and grown in learning to brush things off with my head held high. I'm going into 2016 knowing that I'm just plodding along, not really having any direction in life but feeling pretty content that the life I'm currently leading really isn't too bad at all. I've got a family who adore me, a boyfriend who always has my back and friends who accept me for being me. Those good moments? They've been the bloody best!
Show me what you've got 2016. I'm ready.
i think its a very brave thing to talk about problems job wise. i feel like people tend to keep these things to themselves when theres no need to and i'm sure you'll find something that you love. the past year i haven't felt very confident and i started working out the reasons a while a go, i feel so much better already. i wish you all the best in 2016.
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It's the same as any year I reckon - full steam ahead at the beginning and losing it by December. I know I'm feeling it having just lost my job to redundancy and looking towards the uncertain new year trying to freelance. But all you can do is keep your head up and be thankful - which is exactly what you're doing. Good luck to you next year and I look forward to reading what you get up to :) x
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ReplyDeleteHere's to 2016! I think it's hard, and incredibly brave, to admit when things haven't been going well. There's so much pressure for every year to have been the "best year ever!" Here's to more of the good moments next year! X
Roll on 2016 Sophie! You got a hella of lot to give, so much experience and enthusiasm, that when that opportunity rolls round (it will, trust me) you'll smash it. Keep planning your adventures and plodding on, because this time next year you'll be like look at me fucking now! all my love xxx
ReplyDeleteP.S have NO shame signing on at the job centre, you've paid your taxes!
You got this lovely lady, I believe in you! xo
ReplyDeleteThis is such a brave post... I had a really rough couple of months work wise over summer and although things are smoother now, it wasn't much fun at the time (and I really struggled to talk about it) . Fingers crossed 2016 brings only the best for you! X
ReplyDeleteLove you bb girl
ReplyDeleteMy Sentimental Heart
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