Bigging yourself is hard isn't it? As a Brit I'm very self-deprecating and find it difficult to accept compliments gracelessly. I like to to think it's what makes us so charming as a nation. Some might disagree. Someone tells me that my dress looks nice? I often reply that's it's only an old Primark number and it was the only thing that didn't need ironing. Someone tells me that they enjoyed an article I've written? I often rip it to pieces and say oh I wish I'd popped this in.
We're often told that no one likes a bragger. No one likes someone who is overconfident about their abilities, their looks and their work. But sometimes you have to believe in yourself. Because if you don't believe you're capable of doing amazing things or that all your hard work has made into a little star, how do you expect anyone else too?
I often feel like a bit of a fraud. I work in an industry that is very subjective. One person could love your writing whereas another might think it needs a lot of work. That's what happens when you work in a creative industry. There is no right or wrong answer as colleagues all have different things that they look out for. I admit that my confidence was knocked following my redundancy and I seriously considered a career change. But then I freelanced at a handful of places and after seeing my work published, I began to think maybe I wasn't so bad at this writing lark after all. I just needed to believe in myself. To tell myself that I do have the skills and I'm actually not too shabby at stringing a few words together. It's incredible how much of a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I allowed myself to feel proud. How much my confidence grew.
It doesn't make yourself a bad person to praise your abilities. To say you know what? I'm actually bloody good at doing this and I don't care who knows. It's not about being a big head. It's about being proud at how far you've come and that your efforts have finally paid off.
You've got this. You just have to admit it yourself.
I hear you loud and clear. It's so hard to be proud and tell others you're good at something without feeling like a fraud or thinking you're coming across just like the oh-so-arrogant woman you hate so much. I was recently told this twice by two different people with regards to something very specific, and tried really hard to "show off" a little bit about it, but it doesn't feel right. We need to remember that without a little bit of pride we'll never be able to use what we're good to our advantage. So hard.
ReplyDeleteLove you and this
ReplyDeleteMy Sentimental Heart
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Great post, you're so right about this...we've got this!!
ReplyDeleteYou are right, I still don't know what to answer when someone is giving me a compliment...
ReplyDeleteabfashionlights.blogspot.com
So true - women are so bad about bigging themselves up and being proud of their achievements. x
ReplyDeleteLilyLipstick
totally agree. its so hard as i feel its engrained in me to be so self depreciating. But i am bringing my step daughter up to be differently, and i hope that awkward overtly British trait will die with my generation and not pass on to hers.
ReplyDeleteLovely post Sophie xx