I was never that child who loved
playing with dolls and pretending I was a mum. In fact from the
tender age of 11, I always use to proudly state that my ambition was
being a journalist. I'll give myself a pat on the back for making that come true. Babies didn't even enter my mind. I've never been
one to coo over newborns either. Truth be told, I'm a little scared
of them and they sense it. As soon as they sit on my lap, the
waterworks start. Give me a dog? I'll turn to mush. Especially when I
see a puppy. I can fully get on board with being dog broody.
I'm not even sure that I want to be a
mum. I've worked extremely hard on my education and my career that I'm in no hurry to take a step back. I come from a line of women who don't like kids. My nan and mum
both lack the maternal gene. But they make amazing mothers. Go figure? For some reason some people just cannot
grasp that idea. I've been told that I'm depriving my boyfriend –
he once mentioned he'd rather jack in the kids malarky and travel the
world. I've been told I'm doing the world a disservice and it's my
role as a woman to reproduce. I've been given condescending advice
that I should just wait. My clock will soon be ticking and I'll have
a sudden urge. I've been told I don't know what I'm missing out on. I've been told I don't know what I'm talking about at my age.
I might very well change my mind. I
could reach 30 and have the sudden urge to reproduce. I look and mine
and my mum's amazing relationship and long for that myself. But do
you know what? It's ok to not want to bring a child into the world.
It doesn't make you less of a woman. You don't lose your femininity
simply because you don't want to give birth. It's not the be all and end all if you don't ever hear the word mum. Don't be made to feel
bad just because you prefer to have a career over raising a family.
The beauty of the world is you should be who you want to be.
Great post - everyone should read this! I completely agree that women shouldn't be defined in relation to whether they want children or have children and they are every part as feminine and a 'whole woman' as a woman who has a child.
ReplyDeletetheemeralddove21.blogspot.co.uk
preach, being a childless woman doesn't mean your a failure. I will never change my mind about not wanting a child. If a partner of mine ever really wanted one and felt like his life was incomplete without one I would foster. There are plenty of children already born who need my help.
ReplyDeleteYou summed it up with 'you should be who you want to be'
Love this post. I feel exactly the same, and now on the other side of 30, nothing has changed. I LOVE my nephew but certainly don't want my own one... Give me a dog any day though :) !!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I feel like there's more than enough little ones roaming this planet without me needing to produce anymore.
Rosie xx
Good for you to be so refreshingly honest. Up until about ten years I hated kids, they actually just annoyed me and I would get the same thing 'oh you will change your mind one day' 'thats a selfish way to live' etc etc which is downright rude. I would never question why someone didnt have kids how do you know there isnt a medical reason or something? Infuriates me. I am the wrong side of 30 now, not in a relationship and want nothing more than to settle down and have a family but I would never criticise anyone for not wanting a child. You are being unselfish as you know thats not what you want so you wouldnt be bringing a child into the world for the benefit of others. Go you! xxx
ReplyDeleteI think it's awful that you've been made to feel like it isn't your choice, when it completely is! While I'd quite like to have children someday I have several friends who have decided it won't be a facet of their life and I think everyone should have the right to choose without feeling made to feel like they're doing the world a disservice - never let anyone make you feel bad, Sophie. Your body, your choice :) - Tasha
ReplyDeleteYou are brave for speaking your mind, being your own woman and making your own choices despite societies expectations. :) xoxo
ReplyDeletelivingoncloudandreanine.blogspot.com
Yes, this post 100% reflects my feelings on this topic! I do love babies and (well-behaved) children but I won't change my mind about not wanting a child and that's OK too!
ReplyDeleteMaria xxx
Totally agree with this - I have no desire to have a child and yet strangers think its ok to tell me that I'll "change my mind" and that I "do really want one". I definitely would not get the same sort of comments if I were a man not wanting kids! x
ReplyDeleteGreat post .. I totally agree with what you say.
ReplyDeleteLovely refreshing post and blog. x
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you tell 'em sophie, i'm so sick of people asking me about children, it's none of their business x
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